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Eagle (a Five-Minute Play for Twins Who Don't Have Their Other Twin With Them and An Unlimited Supply of Animals)

(A red backdrop with eagle suspended on a wire, flush left, wings spread majestically.)

Twin: (materializing on eagle's back with Star Trek transporter FX) Everyone, sing a middle C.

(Audience sings a middle C, as eagle and twin are raised out of sight for three-and-a-third minutes. Blue backdrop appears.)

Narrator: A train arrives in Hamburg. (Loudly w. trumpets.) Crash!

(The number 37 flashes on the screen. An audience member happens to stand up and take a photo of it at just the right instant.)

Twin: (clapping, lowered down on a wire, eagle as well) Bravo! Now, a high E! Everyone!

(Audience hums or ohhhs a high E for fifty seconds. A gunshot is heard and a man falls from a tall balcony in the theatre. He lands in a tub of water placed below.)

Twin: And now...

(The man in the tub of water rises to the surface and reclines naturally.)

Twin: It looks as if he is merely bathing!

(A conductor appears and spreads his arms fully and, with a roll of the baton, sixteen seconds later, leads the crowd in finishing the note.)

by why the lucky stiff

september 26, 2005