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Humphrey worked pouring concrete for over twenty-five years, when one day he discovered that he was pouring concrete on to a cat. He stopped the mixer to rescue the cat, but he discovered that several cats were now firmly encased in concrete. Reaching, lumpy, and buried cats. Firmly encased.

Later that day, he wandered to an old job site and found that the sidewalk wound up and over the shapes of cats, dogs, birds and ostriches. His eyes darkened as he continued to visit curbs where he had inadvertantly paved over families, arcade machines, moving trucks. He was abhorred by his neglect and fiercely pounded his face with his fists.

His regret was vast and contoured. He longed to set things right. He took up a jackhammer and began banging into the solidifed shape of a man on a hangglider, but couldn't make progress. Consumed by his guilt, he took a long walk through a parkway where the cars screamed by furiously. He made up his mind to throw himself in front of a car.

Fortunately, two stories above Humphrey, a minister happened to drop a massive Bible on Humphrey's head, which crushed him instantly. A man should not have to kill himself if a large Bible can do it for him.

by why the lucky stiff

april 11 2003